As the mom of 3 boys, I have a love/hate relationship with mobile devices. You can access valuable information, spread so much good, and you can keep in contact with family and friends no matter where they live. But, let’s be honest, there is a lot of dangerous stuff out there, and we need to keep our kids safe.
I want to start by saying, I am not an expert on mobile devices by any means. However, I am a mom who has been raising teenagers through the introduction of electronic devices and over the past 12 years, I have learned a lot along the way! Some of the lessons have been painful. But, if what I have learned can help you keep your kids safe, then the painful lessons will have all been worth it.
The topic of keeping your kids safe on mobile devices has many moving parts – how screen time affects young developing brains, how screen time is contributing to anxiety and depression in teens, what apps are safe to use, how much time should my child be on a mobile device, setting up
Let’s talk about 3 things you can do today to keep your kids safer on their mobile devices.
I’m going to be talking mostly about the iOS platform (iphones, ipads, ipod touch – if they are still out there). The reason I have chosen to focus on the iOS platform is:
- iphones and ipad are what the kids are asking for
- We love Apple, but they put restrictions on 3rd party companies from restricting their devices – so as parents, whether we have an iOS device or not, we need to be able to understand how they work so we can safeguard our kids.
- Android has many 3rd party options available out that can assist with safeguarding devices.
1. Put in place a “Family Electronic Device Agreement”
A “Family Electronic Device Agreement” (see sample below) is designed to give you an opportunity to sit down with your kids and teach them about mobile device safety. It’s an opportunity to set up mobile device guidelines and to talk about different scenarios that they may come across while using a mobile device.
Some of the topics I recommend talking about are bullying, inappropriate pictures, stranger danger, and anything that makes them feel uncomfortable. Depending on their age, it’s a great time to teach about communicating on a mobile device. For example, “we don’t ever want the people you are with to feel that your mobile device is more important than they are. Please make sure you stay off your device while you are hanging out with your friends”.
One of the most important things we try to communicate with our kids is that mobile devices are a privilege that they earn. If they break our family agreement or if the device is having a negative effect on them, they can lose the privilege of having their mobile device.
I’m including a copy of our “Family Electronic Device Agreement” that you are welcome to download for free. This was written with teenagers in mind, so you may want to make some adjustments depending on the age of your children.
Something important to note, it is not a question of “if” your child will come across something inappropriate on their devices, it is more a question of “when”. If your child comes to you because they have seen something inappropriate, how we handle it – will determine if they will continue to come to you again. Try really hard to stay calm, even if you’re freaking out inside. Thank them for coming to you and let them know you are a safe person to talk to about anything. Try not to shame them or punish them so you can keep those lines of communication open.
2. Require all mobile devices to be plugged in your room for the night!
Do a quick google search “How much sleep do teenagers need?” Everything from the American Pediatric Association to the National Sleep Foundation all says the same thing – teenagers need at least 8-10 hours of sleep each night and younger children need even more. Sleep affects their ability to think and reason clearly, it affects metabolism, energy, and hormones. We can help them with all of this – by having their devices plugged into our rooms at night. It also limits the time they can be searching for things on their devices privately.
“What??” they will say! “But it’s my alarm clock!” Trust me, I have had numerous conversations with parents over the years about these same things and every single one who has said “but it’s their alarm clock” or “I don’t want my kids to think that I don’t trust them by making turn their phone in at night” has come to me at some point with huge regrets over trouble their kids have gotten into with unrestricted device access during the night.
Set the standard early if you’re just introducing electronic devices or start today if you’ve had them in your home for a while. It may be bumpy for a bit, but it will definitely be worth it – you can purchase an inexpensive alarm clock or an Amazon Echo or Echo Dot to use as an alarm clock. Keep them healthy and safe!
3. Set “Screen Time” on your child’s device.
Recently Apple has added the ability to set up “Screen time” on your device and any mobile device that is on your iCloud account. Screen time gives you the ability to schedule screen downtime, set time limits on gaming and social media Apps. It allows you to establish communication limits, create a list of Apps that are always allowed on their phones, and set up content and privacy restrictions.
The pictures below show step-by-step instructions on how to set up “Screen time”.
Again, I am not an expert, just a mom sharing a few things I’ve learned along the way. Please let me know in the comments below if you have any questions or any tips you would like to share.
We’ll definitely be talking more about this again soon.
For now, thank you for joining my Tribe!
Much love,
Mama Leish
